Hard of Hearing: Chapter 1

Most of the frustrations of living at home involve Klez-Mom and her hearing capacities, or lack thereof. Somehow, a sentence about getting to work is obtusely translated into a request for a turkey dinner. Stories won't do justice to the frequency of these Hard-of-Hearing (HOH) occurrences, but at least I can try.

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Part 1

My sister, about working with kids,
"The kids were playing with wood clay today at school. It smelled weird"

Dad responds,
"What did it smell like?"

"Like wood chips"

Klez-Mom, literally a foot away from my sister and oblivious,
"WHAT?! Who smells like horse shit?"
Confused restaurant patron stares

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Part 2

After breakfast, dad stands up
"Time to get dressed!"

Klez-Mom whips around
"I already SAID I was taking him to the vet!"

Eyeball roll.
Klez-Mom pauses.
"Are we talking about the cat?"

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Part 3

My sister, as she heads out the door, jokingly,
"Bye whores!"

Klez-Mom turns to me and dad.
"Real nice, she says bye to the cats, and not to us"