Jewish mommas. If you've got one, you'll understand what I'm about to say next: Marry a Jew, and your foot is 99% of the way into heaven's door. So is theirs for having birthed you, suckled you, and shaped you into a fine Jew-seeking Jew.
Unfortunately for Klez-Mom, her kids are more of the think-outside-the-box-follow-your-heart Jews than the god-fearing-heaven-seeking type. But she had a lucky break recently; it seemed her eldest Klez-kid was nearing 30, starting to feel the heat from Klez-Mom and her senior partner (Bubby), and seeking, perhaps, a Nice Jewish Girl.
Sunday arrived with a ray of sunshine; my brother decided to bring over his new Jewish lady-friend, and Klez-Mom's smile was big enough to rip her cheeks open. Some light conversation ensued, complete with a friendly pass-around of a copy of Heeb Magazine. Klez-Mom opened the pages to the free, first-edition center-fold calendar, loaded with half naked, shiny bronzed Jewish girls.
Klez-Mom cauks head.
"Girls of '69? What year is this calendar from?!"
*stifled chuckles*
KM glances at me.
"What are you laughing at?"
KM turns back to Heeb
"Oh, it's from 2008."
Welcome to Klez-Mom. Stay tuned for a mind-blowing array of stories, photos and video clips of the big lady. Cross your fingers for some good, quality, ab-wrenching content. Bye my babies!
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